October 18, 2006
Below ==>Aug 2008 Article about Crossroads:
Fear and Indecision: The Joy Killers: By Larry Crane
Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.
Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are -- in front of a crossroad?
There are no guarantees.
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control, or so it would seem.
Know this to be true: the only things you have power over are the decisions that you make, and how you act and react to different situations.
That is a huge relief, actually. It takes the pressure off a bit, yes? So let's take a look at this decision-making thing, and the fears that come up around it. Starting with the fear of making a wrong decision, or a mistake. Here's what you need to know:
There are no mistakes: Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.
Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not. Why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one? It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong. Or was it? Moreover, what if there was a way you could let go of all of your fear about making decisions?
Take that risk: decide!
Often, it is not the end action that creates the most fear; it is the decision to act or not act. Since life offers no guarantees and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well let go of all of your fear, take the risk, and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you seemingly lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, and even open more fantastic roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. You have the choice to let go of your fear of deciding.
Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option for overcoming fear of deciding in the face of life's crossroads:
5. Get as much information as you can about your situation.
You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W's: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation. Now, after all of this exhausting information gathering, ask your mind if it knows these answers. Does it have any? When you discover it doesn't, skip to the Number One Way below.
4. Identify and create options.
What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, and sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end. Have you been able to "figure it out yet"? No? When you discover you haven't, simply check out the Number One way below.
3. Weigh the pros and cons of every option.
Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option. Now you are getting closer! Skip down to the Number One way below, to discover an incredibly simple technique for doing just this very thing, and then letting it go for good.
2. Trust yourself and make that decision.
Or, you could just skip everything and move to the Number One way of overcoming the fear of making any decision, no matter how small:
1. LET GO, LET GO, LET GO. Let go of all of your many complex layers of fear with one simple, all natural way to eliminate and dissolve all negative feelings right on the spot. You can do it!
Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees, and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So decide to believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time. Decide that you are doing the best you can. Be easy on yourself. Do it the easy way, by letting go of your fear of deciding.
Whatever you do, please remember the most important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Choose to let of all regrets, whatever the outcome of your decisions. Instead, learn from those experiences, see them as perfect, and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
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